Hiding…expressing—
The wrapper
All we see
of ourselves.
Of others.
Actions speak
But not the loudest.
The background pulse;
Throbbing undercurrent of every deed.
POUND feeding the hungry
POUND suicide
POUND going to church
POUND murder
POUND fasting
POUND rape
POUND giving to charity
POUND thirsting for power
POUND teaching Sunday School
POUND
POUND
POUND
Our one goal
Our true desire
Our central thrust:
Charting my own course.
Earning my own way.
Dominating you.
Dominating myself.
Dominating Him.
Through religion.
At our best.
At our worst.
With the same intensity.
The heinous criminal,
The devout lawkeeper.
We are the same.
Because of the garments
Burn away the fabric of deeds
Good and bad;
Sins and morality;
They are chaff in the wind—
Ashes all.
The glare of naked skin is all we have.
No more security in the good I do
No more cowering in the shadow of the bad
Just me
Naked
Raw
Scorched
Singed
The truth
Exposed
Like a middle finger in my heart
Bent to self-exaltation
The good girl
Is
The murderer:
Who
Won’t be ruled
I am what I am
All my bad
All my good
Tainted
and
Vulgar.
Glaring.
My sins
An unbleachable bloodstain
My righteousness
Bloody rags
ALL
An offense
To His holiness
The middle finger
In my heart
Thrusting at heaven
Screaming
I WILL DO IT MYSELF
Into the naked crowd of the world
He stakes His claim
Through tendons and flesh
Hands open and writhing
Smeared with my pain;
My rage at His claims to supremacy
In a shower of my spit and cursing
He screams toward heaven
I WILL DO IT MYSELF
And becomes
My garment.
2 comments:
What a crushing indictment on our own self-centeredness and willful disobedience, showing it as the affront to God that it is. Yet beautifully redemtive, as it reminds us of the necessity and fact that we are indeed clothed in Him. Amen. I've never heard it phrased this way, and it is poignant. So glad you are making time for this kind of contemplation and creating.
Yes, we don't spend enough time looking honestly at what is really in our hearts--seeing what we were in all its vulgarity and malice. I always thought I loved God, but it wasn't until I admitted the dark tendency in me to go my own way (and realized that it's not just "mistakes" but actually a wrestling hostility toward God and exaltation of myself) that I understood at a new level what Christ did for me. "While we were yet sinners" (i.e., while I was in the act of rebellion), Christ died for me. And THIS is why I love Him so desperately. Actions aren't the issue: no action is unredeemable, and no action can redeem. Good deeds are merely the glow from the passion in my heart: the inevitable shine of this new life.
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